Secrets

Secrets are powerful. Their reputation as villainous and hurtful is engrained into our minds: the destroyer of families, crusher of hearts, weapon of treachery.

Secrets, secrets are no fun

All they do is hurt someone.

It is the weight of knowing , the desire to know, and the fear of not that makes the existence of secrets unfortunate. More often than not, they are used for vindictiveness, for breaking, bribing and blackmailing. They are used to trick and torture.

There is a long history of this. There is even a secret that has the strength, when known, to literally destroy a human. 

In the story of Semele and Zeus, Semele, the lightning god’s lover, requests to see Zeus’ face. Zeus, having sworn on the river Styx that he would give her anything she desired, was forced to acquiesce.

The weight of knowing that his true form, a thunderstorm, would destroy any mortal who looked upon him, forced him to beg Semele to change her mind.

She would not. She had been given the desire to know by Hera, Zeus’ wife. Hera knew that no mortal could look on Zeus, and as revenge for his infidelity, she punished Semele with the desire to see Zeus’ face.

When Zeus revealed himself, Semele was destroyed; she could not bear the weight of knowing.

This is more than a cautionary tale for desiring to know something we should not.

 

For humans, a promise can be broken, and we are not bound to tell our secrets. The desire to know (Hera) can be thwarted. The weight of knowing (Zeus) does not have to be shared, and so I think the fear of not knowing something for certain (represented by Semele) is the most human part of the story.

Semele not only desired to see Zeus’ face but wanted proof that he was indeed a god. The suspicion, insecurity, and I think, most importantly, fear of not knowing is where secrets get their negative perception and connotation, and yet, we live with the fear of not knowing. It compels us to seek out answers to the mysteries that can potentially harm us. Whether it is where your lover is at 3 in the morning, what your lover truly thinks, what your lover looks like in their god-form, or answers to what is unknown about the world and universe.

Poetry is an attempt to dispel that fear, an attempt to know secrets, to ask our gods to reveal themselves. The story of Zeus and Semele tells us that sometimes those answers can be used as weapons, sometimes the answers are so magnificent they destroy us, though I think I know what Semele would say, if asked: Was it worth asking? Was it worth knowing?

 

Next week I’ll be thinking about addiction.

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Keep a secret.